Calvin and Hobbes The Way It Is
by MusicPeaceAndCheese
Summary: One-Shots of Calvin and Hobbes adventures and Mis-Adventures! REVIEW AND NO FLAMES PLEASE!
1. Lunch

**OK, a new challenge! I will use my Calvin and Hobbes knowledge and make some one shots! Try to imagine them as comics, because then it might make some more sense. REVIEW!!! **

_Calvin sits by Susie at lunch._

Calvin: Hey Susie!

Susie: Ugh! Calvin just go away!

Calvin: You wanna see what I have for lunch today?

_Sighs_ Susie: What now, Calvin?

Calvin: My tiger!

Hobbes: No way! You are not eating me!

Susie: Ew! Calvin! Don't eat him! He's so adorable! _Susie grabs Hobbes and hugs him._

Hobbes: She's right! I'm too adorable! _Calvin takes back Hobbes._

Calvin: Too bad! _Tries to bite Hobbes paw, but Hobbes claws him._

Calvin: Ow! You scratched me!

Hobbes: That's not as bad as you trying to eat me! _Susie watches as Calvin argues with his stuffed tiger._

Susie: Weirdo.


	2. School

**Reviews make the world go round!!**

**Scene: Calvin and Hobbes are at the top of their hill. They are trying to get on the sled.**

Calvin: You know what I've been thinking about?

Hobbes: Letting _me_ drive the sled for once?

Calvin: Dream on!

Hobbes: Then what?

**Calvin and Hobbes begin their doom descent.**

Calvin: School, I mean if I'm not learning anything, why do I need it?

Hobbes: Good point. WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE!

Calvin: Exactly! Professional skate boarders don't use the alphabet or addition!

Hobbes: Please keep your eyes on the path!

Calvin: Don't you agree?

Hobbes: Fully. That's why tigers don't go to school.

Calvin: Lucky!

Hobbes: WHOA! WE'RE GOING TO FAST! WE'RE GOING TO CRASH INTO THAT ROCK!

Calvin: Maybe if _I_ was a tiger, I wouldn't need to go to school. Whaddya think?

Hobbes: I think that unless you watch the road, we're going to DIE!

Calvin: Oh. Hold on!

Hobbes: STOP! LET ME OFF! LET ME OFF!!!!!!


	3. Dogs

**Calvin and Hobbes are hanging out in the back yard, sitting on the fence.**

Calvin: Hobbes, what are you going to be when your all grown up?

Hobbes: I'm already grown up. Hey, don't your neighbors have that evil pit bull in their back yard.

Calvin: Oh, that's right! Well, what do you think I would be good at?

Hobbes: Obviously nothing with math! I see that dog; it's looking at me…

Calvin: I wanna be something that requires action! Maybe I'll be a ninja!

Hobbes: That dog, it's walking over here… it looks hungry.

Calvin: Ya. I'll be a ninja, and you can be my ninja side kick!

Hobbes: Yikes! He's trying to grab me!

Calvin: So would you be my ninja sidekick?

Hobbes: OUCH! WHY IS EVERYONE TRYING TO EAT ME!?


	4. Polls Part 1

Calvin: Bad news, dad. Recently your polls have declined due to lack of independence and more labor on homework.

Dad: Mmm hmm.

Calvin: BUT! You can easily untangle this nasty situation you've gotten yourself into!

Dad: And how?

Calvin: Simple! By writing a detailed letter to my teacher explaining how I am widely educated enough and am obliged to play during lessons.

Dad: *Sighs* Why don't you just poll your mother.

Calvin: Gee, I never thought of that!

**OK sorry if it is short but I promise the next part will be up very soon! Review! :)**


	5. Polls Part 2

Calvin: Hello mother. And what might you be cooking for dinner?

Mom: Manicotti. It's very good.

Calvin: MANICOTTI?! Isn't that the noodle that looks like a sludgy slug, oozing precious vital organs?

Mom: Calvin! Don't talk like that!

Calvin: This is _definitely_ going on your poll! You've just gone down 20%!

Mom: Polls?! Isn't that something you do with your father?

Dad: *From living room snickers* I still think we should've gotten a dog.

Mom: Dear!

Calvin: A large party of 6 year olds in this house would prefer more edible foods, such as said cookies on the shelf up there.

**Well? How was it? I really like reviews! I had this idea bouncing in my head for awhile, I just finally wrote it down! I hope you enjoyed! :D**


	6. AN

**A/N:**

**Hey you guys, just a quick heads up that hopefully won't be too disappointed but I will be on vacation for about two weeks, but promise to write some more ASAP. So, adios you guys! I'll miss ya! :D**


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